Day two - reflections on the self

Note on finding self
The process that I am going through was a necessary step in self-preservation, I was at rock bottom and staring up from the bottom of the oubliette I reached for the light and this is what I found - I found myself denuded and standing bare and in that state I could do one of two things - I could pitty myself and blame others or I could forgive myself and try to heal. I did the later and have tried to build this mental construct called momentousness to help me make sense of who I am and to move forward in life with grace and justice.

This has been an imperfect path to date but one full of self-realisation, and in this process I have realised there are some major obsticals to living in the moment - namely the self - the sum of our parts that squirms and struggles under the fabric of perception - it's made up of so many different experiences from our timeline that it's a complex melange of triggers, insecurities, fears, desire, etc. - that understanding it and acting in the correct way in the moment is a struggle indeed. Knowing your insecurities is one step but seeing how they effect others is another - being able to face down fear with faith and not allow yourself to indulge in your insecurities is one of the hardest things.

I am learning as I write this, and have no clear exercises for pulling out the hardest parts of the soul, bringing them into the light, healing them and placing them back into the timeline - I am writing this as naked and honest as I can in the hopes that this will show me the way - that by stripping away my pride and fear that I will get the man underneath and be able to control the subconscious as I try to live in the moment. To be honest this is a painful process, when you take way the mechanisms that you have used for years to prop up your image of your self you are left vulnerable. In this vulnerability lies strength, it's the strength of the new born, it's the ability to grow from nothing, it's the vision of a better life that you evolve into, it's the strength of light. Ultimately it's the ability to create, it's an ethic that asks you to build from this place vulnerability and to add strength and grace in it's place.

photo attribute: creative commons - http://www.flickr.com/photos/72213316@N00/